Netzach

As the Omer period marches on, we enter Week 4 and focus on the attribute of netzach, or "victory."  But, "victory" alone might not be the most complete translation...I've also heard netzach interpreted as "endurance" or "eternity."  My understanding of this sefira combines all of these concepts.  Simply put, netzach is the effort and hard work that we put into reaching our goals.  It is what helps us find the strength to keep pursuing what we want, even when the obstacles are great, and even when the fight seems to be taking forever. 

Tapping into our netzach reservoirs is critical for staying on the path to recovery.  As I'm sure most of us can attest, there is very little that is glamorous about this process.  There are moments of inspiration and excitement as we catch glimpses of what life has to offer us in recovery, but most of our time is spent doing the work:  the appointments and therapy sessions, the meals and snacks, the concrete acts of breaking old patterns, the positive self-talk...the list goes on.  For me, this process has not been linear, and I actually can't think of anyone I know who can say that his or her path to recovery has been a straight shot.  There are ups and downs, potholes and detours.  So, what keeps us on course?  Netzach--our determination, and our understanding that although the journey is long, it is leading us where we want to go.

I recently learned that netzach is also sometimes likened to "tough love"...on the surface, what we have to go through seems harsh and perhaps unfair, but in the end it is for our greater good.  Sometimes, Hashem gives us blessings disguised in unappealing packages, but if we can get past the wrapping, we can see the true benefit of what is underneath.  I remember one low point during my illness; I was studying abroad and unhappily agreed to submit to weekly visits with a local doctor.  He couldn't have been more pleasant, but he was an elderly man, and I was convinced that he couldn't possibly understand what I was going through.  But, at the end of one visit he looked at me wisely and said, "I think it will be a good experience for your life, this."  Even then, as miserable as I was, part of my core self believed him.  Somehow I knew that if I stuck with the recovery process, eventually I would end up a more complete, well developed individual than I would have if I had not struggled and persevered.

I believe that I have had a lot to learn, and Hashem has chosen to teach me through the process of recovery. It has not been a smooth ride, but through my endurance and drive I have discovered the victory that comes from perseverance.  It is my wish that this week, we find the energy to recommit to staying the course--that we have faith in our ability to overcome obstacles, keep our eyes on the prize, and emerge victorious in the end.