Thoughts on Beauty

I have always been a bit of an "attractiveness neglector." In terms of my own personal appearance, I tend to value function over aesthetics. "Fashion", "style", and "accessories" are vocabulary words in a language I do not speak. That's not to say that I am out of touch with what makes for a reasonably put-together physical appearance, just that external beauty has never been at the forefront of my mind. In early recovery, my refusal to play the cultural beauty game was my way of rebelling against a societal value system that I felt placed physical appearance above all other attributes. I did not see a way for recovery, with its "I-am-more-than-my-body" message, to co-exist with a desire to be considered physically beautiful.

I honestly did not expect that Judaism, which places such value on scholarship and mitzvot, would present me with a way to integrate the two. And yet, I am finding that it does...and I want to share some of these ideas with you here.

In Jewish tradition, inner beauty is most important. We should remain focused on how we act and who we are, rather than on how we look. And yet, external beauty is also important, because its role is to reflect how beautiful we are on the inside. Judaism teaches that the physical body houses the soul, which is created in the Divine image. Hillel asserted that because the soul resides in the body, care and proper treatment of the body are of the utmost importance. We should, of course, focus on refining our inner selves and behaving in a manner that is pleasing to Hashem. But, we should also view our bodies as ways to radiate our inner beauty out into the world. It is important to maintain an appearance that is well-kept, to wear clothing that is clean and neat, and to take good care of our bodies. Our attention to our external attractiveness does not have to be an end in and of itself, but rather a way of communicating to others our beauty within.

Most importantly, we must remember that true beauty comes from harmony between body and spirit. Consider this quote regarding our matriarch, Sarah, who was renowned for her beauty:

"Sarah's beauty was one of complete synchronization between external and internal, between body and soul. This kind of beauty does not fade with age, pregnancy, or weight gain. It is a beauty that is cultivated inwardly and shines forth." (from innernet.org.il ...view full article here)

Well said!

I love the idea that physical beauty need not be at the expense of inner development, that the two are not mutually exclusive but rather can reflect and complement each other. In my tendency toward "black-and-white" thinking, I had assumed that if I spent energy trying to make my body look attractive, I would be selling out my recovery-oriented value system. Judaism is offering me another way to think about this: putting time and effort into my physical appearance is not vain, nor is it superficial...it's a way of honoring the precious glow of my inner self.

Now that's a concept of beauty I can get behind!