Cheshvan Meets Scaredy Squirrel

Well.

In the past month, we've been through seven full days of Yom Tov plus four days of chol hamoed, we've eaten festive meals, we've fasted, we've davened, we've eaten in the sukkah, and we've danced with the Torah.  It's been beautiful.  It's been exhausting.

And now...it's time for Cheshvan.

I love Cheshvan.

Cheshvan is the only month in the Jewish calendar with no holidays and no special mitzvot.  It comes in sharp contrast to Tishrei, the month immediately preceding it that is packed full of chagim.  The "official" name for Cheshvan is Marcheshvan, which many people interpret to mean that it is a "bitter" month (mar is Hebrew for "bitter") because of its lack of holidays.  But there's no mar in MY Cheshvan, and to explain why, I turn to a wise and trusted source:  Scaredy Squirrel.

Scaredy Squirrel is the brilliant creation of children's book author Mélanie Watt.  He is also the mascot of my recovery.  Scaredy is a routine-bound, safety-loving squirrel who never leaves his nut tree because he is afraid of The Unknown, with all of its associated dangers.  But one day, a rogue killer bee forces Scaredy to leap out of his nut tree...at which point he learns that he is actually a flying squirrel!  He glides through the air and ends up crashing in a bush, where he plays dead for a few hours until he is satisfied that nothing terrible is actually happening in The Unknown.  This realization leads Scaredy to amend his daily routine:

From Scaredy Squirrel, I learned one of the most important lessons of my recovery:  sometimes, you just have to leap into the unknown....and then, you might need to play dead for a while, which is okay.  And that, my friends, is why I love Cheshvan.  It's time set aside to play dead.

Let's be real:  the chagim are wonderful, but ohmygod the overstimulation.  There are the MANY hours of energetic (loud) davening in shul, hours-long meals, and seemingly endless socializing.  As a supreme introvert, I really have to push myself to make it through.  Every year, I look forward to Tishrei with a mix of excitement and anxiety because I welcome the chance to jump into the holiday whirlwind but I also know how stressful it is going to be for me.  And when it's all over, I need some major alone time...in other words, I need to play dead.  

Playing dead is not escapism, and it's not regression.  It's rejuvenation.  It's how we take care of ourselves so we can get ready to jump back into the unknown.  Cheshvan is historically the month in which the Great Flood began, and also the month when it ended a year later.  The flood was intended to cleanse the world and give it a fresh start, and that's what I think Cheshvan is all about.  Play dead, refresh yourself, and then when you're ready, get back out there into the unknown.  After all, Chanukah is right around the corner!