Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Promise of Spring

Today was one of my favorite Jewish holidays: Tu B'Shevat, the "New Year of Trees." Why do I love this holiday? Well, I live in a place where the winters are long and often harsh, and there is nothing that thrills me more than when the first buds start to blossom on the trees. So, I think the idea of having a holiday to celebrate this annual miracle is brilliant! Never mind that we observe Tu B'Shevat according to the cycle of seasons in Israel, and that the trees where I live are far from ready to bloom...just having a reminder of the forthcoming beauty is enough for me!

As I did some learning about Tu B'Shevat this year, one theme that kept coming up in my reading was the Torah's comparison of humans to trees (see Deuteronomy 20:19). I found many different ways of interpreting this comparison, but one in particular resonated with me and I want to share it here.

A tree's life cycle contains periods of growth and vitality, as well as periods of dormancy and decay. During the winter months, the tree appears almost lifeless, stripped of its colorful crown of leaves. While looking at a tree's bare branches, it can be hard to remember what the same tree looked like when it was in full bloom. Perhaps we even doubt that the tree will revive itself again...will this be the winter that finally does it in?

But then...spring arrives! With the change of seasons, the tree remembers how to live. Some trees unfurl a few leaves at a time; others bloom seemingly overnight. Buds open, flowers burst forth, and fruits--the trees' means of producing a next generation--become lush and ripe. After a seemingly interminable winter, the tree has reasserted itself vibrantly.

Aren't people the same way?

Like trees, our lives have cycles that include times of blooming as well as periods of stagnation. Being mired in an eating disorder is the equivalent of being buried in a winter snowstorm. Growth stalls and the landscape is cold and bleak. It is easy to forget what life feels like, and it is hard to trust that our lives will ever again be in full bloom. But with the work of recovery comes spring...we thaw out bit by bit, and begin to grow our lives. Recovery proves to us that we can emerge from the eating disorder and participate wholly in the business of living.

But, even within recovery there are dark times. Personally, I have not found recovery to be a guarantee of happiness--there are hard days at work, disagreements with loved ones, and periods of hormone-induced moodiness. There might be illness, or financial stress, or prolonged family drama. However...since fully entering recovery, I have never forgotten the promise of spring. Even when I am sad, scared, and angry, I am able to remember that the tide will turn, that fluctuations are part of life, and that I can weather the storm. I am also able to recognize that the tough times are part of what fuels growth...and, viewed through this lens, even challenges can have a positive tint.

I found this quote from an article on Tu B'Shevat and will share it in closing:

"This is the message of Tu B'Shevat. In the middle of winter, when everything around us seems so cold and bleak, think of spring. Eat fruit. Sing joyous tunes. Plant new trees. Always look for the good."

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